Yang Xiao Long: Destroyer of Ships
by Orange-Moon-Goddess
Summary: Yang reads the RWBY wiki and finds a series of comments related to "shipping." After that, Jaune blasts off Team Rocket style and Professor Ozpin does nothing the entire time.


Title: Yang Xiao Long: Destroyer of Ships

A/N: This is probably considered crack. Someone on the Wiki suggested that the characters read the Wiki and react to it. This is based off of that comment, and then some other things. Enjoy!

A "ship" is short for a "romantic relationship," for those who aren't familiar with internet terms.

-SceneShift-

A young woman with long blonde hair and lilac colored eyes stared at the glowing screen before her. She leaned back in her chair in an attempt to make herself more comfortable where she sat, but after a few moments of fidgeting she scooted her seat closer to the desk.

On the side, a girl two years younger than herself lounged on her bed, reading a magazine relevant to her interests. That was good; as long as she didn't see what was on the computer screen, then everything was okay.

The page she was on loaded and the young woman entered both her username and password. _YangXiaoLong _logged onto the site as usual.

At the top of the window, the name of the site read: RWBY Wiki. The member of the site, YangXiaoLong, hummed as she scanned the pages for recent wiki activity. After scrolling down a couple times, she found an update on one Ruby Rose.

Her little sister continued to read the magazine without knowing that her older sister, who was in fact Yang Xiao Long, was currently breaking the fourth wall. Yang angled the monitor so that her sister wouldn't see what she was doing.

Back on the page listing recent updates, she had seen a comment with an all-caps "LOL ikr?" directed at someone else's post on Ruby Rose's wall. Yang searched the comments section to follow along with whatever conversation had been taking place. She wasn't too concerned with what people were saying about her little sister, but if it was some asshole posting rude things, then she was going to have to hunt a bitch down.

Eventually she found the original comment, which had been posted by a fellow member of the site.

_LOOOOOOL Rubyxjaune who agrees with me! _

After that came the comment came the one she had caught a glimpse of earlier._ LOL ikr? I HOpe ruby and jaune get together!_

Following that, a Wiki Contributor had answered: _lol and have babies with silver eyes wink wink_

_LOL! Too soon! JauneXRuby forever though haha, _came another response.

Seconds later the monitor met its terrible demise when Yang's fist crashed through it.

_Sorry Jaune, but Ruby is TOO YOUNG for that. It's time for the comic relief to die._

"Yang?" Ruby looked up from her magazine, alarmed by the sudden death of her computer screen. She watched the young woman activated Ember Celica, and called out to her as she left the room, "Yang, you're replacing that."

Like that, her little sister dropped the subject and returned to her magazine.

Yang left the room with no intention of replacing the monitor. She had more important things to take care of. Like sinking ships, for example.

-SceneShift-

Professor Ozpin was taking a nice stroll through Beacon's grounds. With a mug of coffee in one hand and a plate of cookies in the other, he found a bench to sit down on. It was a nice day, with nice weather, and everything was _nice. _Everything was a little too nice. Good thing he was there to make things worse!

_By "bench," he meant tree branch hidden from view, and by "nice stroll" he meant ditch work, leaving everything to be handled by Glynda but then claim all the credit for himself._

He was such a great headmaster. Ditching work and not doing anything was the best. So was ignoring the welfare of his students.

Speaking of his students…

"Oh _JAUUUUUUUUNE,_ I NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU!"

… it looked like they were getting along perfectly fine. No need to intervene here.

"SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! YANG IS TRYING TO KILL ME!"

On the ground, a blonde woman was chasing around a student by the name of "Jaune." Ozpin recognized him as the guy from the initiation who went flailing in the air after being launched. That was still amusing when he thought back to it.

Despite the pleadings of the student, Ozpin chose to not interfere. Whatever this was, he was sure that nothing bad would happen. At all.

Seconds later, Jaune was sent flying towards the sky. Ozpin wondered if that was going to be a running gag around here, and thoughtfully sipped his coffee while the student blasted off again.

He looked after the violent student and observed as she approached the heiress to the Schnee Dust Company.

"You're _next,_" the blonde woman threatened. "It would be _Weiss _of you to stay away from my little sister, _heiress_."

"… What?" Weiss blinked in confusion, not understanding why her walk had been interrupted. She didn't catch the bad pun, either.

Yang's lilac eyes turned red and her hair set on fire.

"You're next," she repeated in a more menacing tone.

Weiss caught on and ran away, trying not to scream as a certain someone's angry older sister chased after her.

Headmaster Ozpin shrugged and finished the rest of his drink. It still wasn't his problem.

-SceneShift-

Let me know if you guys want to see more stuff like this. I'd really like to help this fandom grow however I can :D

~Extra~

Ruby: Hey, where did Jaune go?

Yang: Oh, nowhere! :D

Jaune (Who is stuck in a tree): Are… you guys going to help me? Please?

Ozpin: … *Says nothing as he pours himself another mug of coffee*


End file.
